Thursday, May 18, 2017

we're not lean mean fighting machines anymore T13

when you have to have help reaching  your shoe laces

or getting up from a kneeling position (which is what happens when you don't HAVE help tying your shoelaces

or when you fall over in the store trying to drag yourself up from a crouch (the stuff you want is always at ankle level, ever notice that?)

when you need a step stool to reach the shelf you could reach a year ago without help

and the stool replaces the chair you can no longer use

when you go through all of this and realize you are up there in the dust and cobwebs with no idea why, except that it was important

and find yourself washing the upper shelves instead

when everything you need/want is either downstairs or upstairs but rarely where YOU are and by the time you've negotiated the stairs you've forgotten what you were going for

you catch a glimpse of yourself in the bathroom mirror as you  head for the shower--(the mirror is now much higher)

you give away two thirds of  your clothes because they have all shrunk

you impress yourself by remembering how to start the mower after a year's hiatus

the elderly bag boy wants to help you with your groceries

people find seats for you at parties and bring you food you don't like or can't eat

Thursday 13


  1. I laughed through my wince, reading these; some are happening to me and the rest will follow.

    The worst is trying to bend your legs to cut your toenails. That sucks.

    1. Oh, I figured that one out, you sit and clip. Or prop and clip. The right foot is fine, I can handle that, since I'm a rightie. But the left one takes a bit of struggling, since I am not blessed with left handed clippers.

      note to self: get some.

      On the plus side, these were all second hand clothes anyway, they are just going back to the store where I bought them originally. The ultimate recycling. Annnnd boy do I have a LOT of space now in the closet.

  2. I can totally relate. I hit 50 and it became a different life. We need better preparation for aging (and death) in this country. We all think we're 18 forever.

    1. frankly we do a lot better now than we did when our parents were in their forties and fifties. I can recall as a kid seeing 25th wedding anniversaries with Mum and Dad and their grown kids --she had just had her hair tightened at the beauty parlor and he was in his good pants with the suspenders. Both of them were about 45 or 46 and they looked old. I mean not from my perspective but from society's. Life for them was harder and there wasnt the medical care we have now. And a lot of ignorance.

      But we ARE all 18 forever, if not on the outside, we are on the inside. It's what gets us up in the morning.

      My milestone was at 70. It just seems that things started to unravel about then, slowly, steadily. It's annoying as hell. =)

  3. I laughed myself sick over your list. So true, every one, for this aged old bat.

    1. I think there are days when all you CAN do is laugh.

      But you know, I was just thinking about my friend Lil: she's about 25 years older than me, and for as long as I've known her she has always managed to keep us both in hysterics over the stupid stuff, the embarrassing stuff. She sees clearly, and prismatically at the same time. (Rainbows all the way).
      I told her once, "when I grow up I want to be just like you." she laughed and said, "oh, so do I!"

  4. Just this year my knees gave up. Now I have to use my arms to push up when I'm down and can't use my knees for much. Also, this made me remember when I was in my '20s and moved from MA to TX. A grocery check out person called me "ma'am" and I was still so hip that I thought he said "man," as in dude. When I found out I was being called ma'am I was so insulted.

    1. Ah, yes, regionalisms. In the south, every woman is ma'am unless proven otherwise.
      Knees are usually the first to go, aren't they. We abuse them so fiercely, just on a day to day attrition basis, (I'm so damned glad i never gave into running) and then punish them even more.

      My first encounter with "Senior Discounts" made me realize that 50 was the new 'senior". And I reisted for years. As I told one waitress, when I'm due to be a senior, you won't need to ask... she said, you know, you're right.

  5. Up to now, nearly 80, I've been spared most of these, but I can't understand how all the counters and shelves suddenly went higher. Just in the last year or so

  6. I think you can blame it on sunspots, or the reversal of the magnetic field, but yes, that shelf I could jussst barely reach last year is a total wipeout this year. I also have some very handy hanging hooks over the woodstove, it's where I (used to) keep my larger frypans. Now I store them in the oven. I can still get to that. =(

    Thank you for that, I will have to remember it for future fussing.

    Whatever we did to ourselves way way back then comes back to haunt us, long after we've out grown ourselves. My dad had a huge old rackside truck, the bed on the back was over four feet from the ground. As a kid I used to take a running leap and swing myself up on that.
    Now I'd need a ladder and a hand up to do the same thing. Sigh.

  7. Yeah, yesterday I had use a step stool to get up on the chair (which I needed to sue to I had a chairback to hang on to so as not to lose my balance again), then had to change the lightbulb left handed because the right should ain't what it used to be. I'm groaning just recalling the whole thing.

    1. Oh, I hear that. I don't even trust chairs now, it's getting that second leg UP and terrified of losing my balance.

      steps now, not leaps of faith.

      We have a really neat ladder that I keep in the kitchen, no chair involved, and it will take me where I want to go. Nice wiiide flat steps. No balance necessary..

      Be careful up there, please. Or you will be down there instead...

  8. My life has become about adjusting, it ain't easy. I hate the shrinkage most of all.

  9. I hear that. I take calcium, and D. And the doctor monitors my calcium levels. I've lost two inches, and when you're 5'3", that's a lot. I also got him to check out my thyroid, turns out I had a wonky parathyroid, they took it out and my calcium levels went back to where they should have been.

    My concern is leg strength. I cannot get that second leg UP on a chair, even though I know I could. Some part of me says, no....don't do that...dunno if its mental or physical, but if I misjudge, Im a heap on the floor.

    I think we adjust to ourselves every day, it's just that by now the adjustments are deeper and more annoying.

    Part of it's accepting without giving in to it. Most times there are workarounds (kitchen stool instead of a chair), or new ways to do stuff. I don't like it either.