Thursday, April 13, 2017

Scary things you never want to encounter online (T13)

1.  You need to change your password or your account will be terminated

2.  This is not the correct password for this account

3.  That name has already been taken. Try again (it's my name, dammit, I used it yesterday)

4.  Booting up into a black, blank screen.

5.  The program has stopped responding. Please contact the program administrator...(we're sorry, the site is down. Please contact us using the following URL... we're sorry, that URL seems to not be working.  The site is down, Contact us using the following URL...)

6. Blue screen of death  The nice tech support man is in India and learning English one slow word at a time.  Most of what he says is accompanied by the sound of turning pages.  None of it  is intelligible.

7. We have upgraded our site, you need to change your password; (twelve letters and numbers, no two consecutive, with at least one special character. )

8. "You do not have access to this site"

9. We are a virus and we have disabled your virus program, your email, and are holding your little puppy for ransom.

10. You boot up after a long day, ready for whatever is out there, and there is no internet.  No lights are flashing. There is no online and the service guy won't be available for two days.

11.  All and I do mean all of your passwords have disappeared.  Including the ones that let you in.

12.  Your bank won't let you in, because you used the incorrect password. They suggest you visit the nearest 'live' bank, which happens to be three hundred miles away.

13. You just got a notice from a collection agency about a  product you never heard of, telling you if you don't pay your overdue bill immediately they will be attaching your house, your car, and your first born child. Turns out it's the right name, wrong state.


  1. Oh the blue screen! That's the worst! Hope you got your computer working again!


  3. Windows 10 screen is now black when it goes dead, or at least mine is. These are indeed quite scary things.

  4. yep even scarier than that blue screen, which at least had something you could is It's so quiet, mommy. It's not moving...

    The ones that make me throw up my hands and holler are the ones that tell you do not have permission to enter this site, and "this site' is YOURS.
    Or like the one I got today from an eyecare place, inviting me to use their spiffy new portal. fill in your name and password, and oh, you must use firefox. Excuse me? Without firefox you are a stranger, a wastrel, and a bum.

  5. I feel shaky just reading this list! I fear my blog will disappear and I use it as my writer's filing cabinet.

  6. well not everyone gets all this stuff, and it does accumulate in the memory banks over time. Much it now is router problems and connections as much as computer glitches.

    What's funny, I have had a fairly loud fan noise for months now, and got used to is. Yesterday without thinking about it too much, on my way by the computer with the vacuum, I gave the fan screens a quick swoop.
    This morning when I turned it on, there was no more fan noise. That's scary, lol. Apparently that little vacuuming dislodged whatever was making the fans rattle. =)

  7. My Beloved Sandra got a blue screen twice this past week. Totally freaked her out. I'm not sayin nothing cuz doing so can only bring bad luck.

    1. shhh. I never heard a thing.