Saturday, November 30, 2013

He said, She said Part 2 (6WS)

He said

You know,  I love my kids as much as any man does but
there's times when I wish  they'd give me some personal
time.   They got me a computer  so I'd have "something 
to do" but I'm too busy to bother with it.

They brought over a cell phone so we could be in constant 
contact but after it fell off the tractor fender and I backed 
over it they told me I was working too hard.

Shoulda heard them when I  mentioned my new lady friend.
She said

the day I fell over the dog I made the mistake of telling my daughter-in-law because it was funny, and a week later Home Services was at my door, and Meals on Wheels called to ask when would be a good time to deliver my lunch.

I shooed out the nurse and her blood pressure cuff and hung up on Meals on Wheels.  Then I called my son.

She said

One day Dad and I looked at one another and realized 
we were looking at strangers.  Since the last boy left we had 
been arguing, picking fights, and getting on one another's 
nerves.  After talking it over we decided it might be
time to just split up for a bit, have some time to 
ourselves and get to know each other again. 

I found an apartment nearer the kids, and Dad said he'd 
sell the house  (it's too big for the two of us anyway) 
and find something smaller,  and we'd see how that
worked out. He brings his laundry over once a week
and we talk. No fights, just talk. We've decided we
have to stop calling each other "Mom" and "Dad". We
practice.  He calls me Nancy and snickers, and I call
him Art,  and get the giggles.   I think we'll  be okay.

She said

She calls me once a week all the way from Idaho, makes
sure I know what this is costing her. Wants me to come
out and live with her.  Even though I've been to  Idaho,
and  California and  Florida,  and a lot of places in between,
after a few weeks of being polite and using different towels,
part of me longs to get  back to my students and my kiln
and my friends.

She tells me I'm getting too old to 'bother' with pottery,
and then mentions the 'nice' arts and crafts classes they
have at the day care center there,  the one right beside the
assisted living apartments.

The reality is, she  doesnt want me to live with her,  anymore
than I do.  She just wants to be able to tell her friends that she
'brought Mother out to be with her, she's getting so frail, you
know..."   I've started referring to it as Shady Pines,  which annoys her no end.

I  hung up on her the last time.  Now she can tell her friends I'm getting senile.


He said

A month ago I dropped a shovel on my foot, cracked a bone. When my daughter Lucy found out, she decided it was time to take charge.  "At your age..." seems to be the way she starts
every sentence these days. She even hired  a  "cleaning woman" for me, who could not be over 20--I had to show her how to clean a bathroom properly.

And  yesterday Lucy  told me she was  thinking of moving back to town so she could live here, and keep a proper eye on me. She forgets, the reason she moved out twenty years ago was because we simply could not get along;  she's too much like her mother, god rest her soul.  


  1. oh boy- so far my kids aren't calling me with ideas of how I should be living!

  2. I think it is hard to be the older or younger family member.

  3. Funny (?) how these things seem clearer to us these days, ain't it?

  4. My comment never appeared, sob.

    I said this was great stuff....

  5. We are basically on that side of the fence now. The only thing that saves me, is I dont have children gnawing at me. Then again, I do regret not having big strong sons who say, "Ma, you shouldnt be doing that. Let me help you." (g)
    And everyone of these is either a word for word transcript from someone I know, or a blending. all of it real. And in the end, its all about personal space, about autonomy, and about who controls whom.