Friday, September 13, 2013

Routines

I think as we get older our personal routines take on a life of their own.  They become who we are, what we are.

"Oh",  she says,  "I can't come Wednesday,  that's the day I have to bake my cookies".  Even though there may be  six perfectly good unused days left,  and the cookies take an hour out of her morning,  Wednesday is the day she bakes cookies.   It may also be an easy excuse used too often,  when she wants to get out of shopping,  or visiting a  neighbor she really doesnt like,  or just because.  

I  use Tuesdays ("oh,"  I say,  regretfully.  "I can't make  it on Tuesday,  that's the day I volunteer.") And even if  I don't go,  it's still the day I volunteer.

7 comments:

  1. Right that's true, you volunteered not go. You could always use blog memes as a excuse. That's the day that I need to blog, for cookies Wednesday. I need to write about the cookies that I made on Wednesday. : )

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  2. thats funny, joseph. You could spin that into cotton candy at this rate. Your logic, by the way, is impeccable.
    I knew a woman who always watched Jeopardy, always, and if she was at your house she would leave to go home to watch it because that was what she did. At home.
    sometimes we own our routines because they comfort us, and sometimes they own us.

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  3. Oh yeah, me. More and more as the years go by. Big stuff. Minutia. Routineroutineroutine.

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  4. My favorite uncle was a lonely man; never married, lived with his mother until she died and then he lived with his sister and her husband. (house rule at Nana's was, you stay until you get married. period.) He was achingly lonely, and he retreated into a routine so fixed that you could have set your watch by it ( and some people did, "oh, there's Al. It must be 6:00")--so much so that when they moved, he nearly had to be sedated he was so upset, until he found a new routine to replace the old one.
    Even at 16, as much as I loved him, I knew why he did it, and I promised myself I would never be that lonely. Or that rigid.

    To be fair, we do need some structure just to get through a day--pills to take, bus to catch, doors to unlock and work needs doing; but when what we do 'routinely' becomes the reason and not just the excuse for not doing other things, and its importance far outweighs the actual event...I dunno, the water gets deep right about there, doesnt it.

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  5. And there's the need for a polite way to fend off unwanted visits, invitations, etc., usually proffered on the assumption that an older single person is lonely, at loose ends, etc. In my case it's usually true -- I have other plans. That may mean urgent studio work, as it does the last few weeks, or it may mean I plan to drink tea and read a detective yarn. Single people need these gentle defenses against assumptions.

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  6. We are all creatures of habit.

    This post made me smile :)

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  7. Good morning, Tilly. I agree, habit is what gets us up, dressed, out the door and back again (with any luck in the proper order) on a regular basis. Beyond that, however, they become a shield not just an excuse. Frankly at this stage I could use a bit more structure, but after working so hard to keep alll the doors open all this time, it's much easier to structure each year rather than each day.

    And thank you. Now Im really thinking about it, lol.

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