Wednesday, November 21, 2012

Car Talk #937

My trip home every Tuesday from Concord involves a very strange  stretch of highway with 9 stoplights, which, if you plan it right,  will all be green at the same time you get there.  If you miss the sequence you're whipped.  Its a short stretch of road, with two lanes to a side and multiple exits.  Yesterday I was in the midst of the after-lunch bunch, all of us barrelling from red light to red light at a whopping fifteen mph.  I kept hearing this nasal little 'toot toot' at every light. I thought, what IS that. 
Then in the rear view mirror at the next red light I noticed the dude in the car behind me motioning me forward impatiently.  Excuse me?  There is no forward there, lol. 

So I shrugged and continued on, trying to  ignore his car almost nudging at my back bumper.  At one point the road then opens out into a miracle mile, and the pace picks up to maybe 25 mph.  He's still back there, toot toot.  I looked in the mirror;  he was now giving me the Double Finger.  Whoa, I thought.  I am so honored.

Next toot, I slowed down to 20.  Next toot, 15.  There is, by the way, a totally clear left hand lane at this point he could have swung into, Frankly, I didn't dare. 

For five miles I had this ass on my bumper,  and  wondering why he's not just going around me.  Then I noticed him turning into the Mall at the same time I did. oh joy.  And this is where he decided,  at the last minute, to swing around me and cut me off, nearly taking out the pickup truck just leaving.

And, of course, if he had collided with the truck or I had run into him it would have somehow been my fault for cutting him off--you gotta thank the gods there are only so many of these, and Darwin usually catches up with them before they can breed too heavily...


  1. Hilarous! Loved reading this.

    And yes, the guy is clearly a douche.

  2. lol, thank you, Laguna. It's funny after the fact, but oh, to have that crazed person behind you in a car is a bit unsettling.

  3. Today I misperceived the traffic density at a light on Main Street, honked at the guy in front of me (a pickup) after I'd waited a reasonable time for him to move when the light turned green. I couldn't see that he had nowhere to go, but I could clearly see him yakkin away on his cell, probably bragging about the dead six-point buck staring back at me from the bed of his truck, so I just assumed, incorrectly, he was inapproriately occupied with things of a non-driving nature.
    I'm glad he took no serious offense at my honking, only smiled and waved me off. He did, after all, have a high-powered rifle in the gunrack.

  4. It is important to recognize which one might have the more dangerous weapon and would be more likely to use it. And after all, he already had his buck, you coulda honked at him all day and he'd not have cared a bit.

    He might also have thought you were tooting in approval at that nice dead animal he just shot.