Sunday, April 29, 2012


Two full days and nights, and he's not been back.  Usually when one cat disappears like this the others don't even blink.  They know the living cat, and apparently once a cat dies,  it's out of their memory banks.  This time Toby is looking lost, and subdued; then I realized that he and Sammy were, if not littermates,  at least bonded males, which is the next thing to it, and he is wondering, perhaps, what's missing in  his life right now.  Damn. 

Saturday, April 28, 2012

gratitude and attitude

My uncle and  his wife were foster parents,  from the time their first child was born until they adopted the last foster child and saw him married,  a span of maybe 40 years,  providing an endless stream of short term and long term care for kids who had been put in foster care for varying lengths of time.   The kids were treated as their own,  disciplined and loved, fed and clothed.   When one of the boys decided he was going to 'escape' and took his sister with him, down over the second story porch roof and out,  my uncle said, "damn fool, we never lock the door from the inside, all he has to do is walk out."  He never expected gratitude, and Im not sure he knew he should.  Many people in that situation would have demanded it.

I think we tend to make that same mistake with the animals who live with us.  We somehow expect gratitude because it's our choice to house and feed them, keep them warm and safe and give them the affection they so obviously need.  It's asking a lot of an animal.  Not all animals respond, nor should they.  For whatever  reason, partly in their makeup and partly in their past,  they respond forever as slightly feral creatures,  unable to lay down that fear of the human.  

Sammy has taken to staying out all night.  The cat door is on what we call 'single trap' which means "one way--in only"  every night.  It's been cold this week, down near 30.  I worry about hypothermia, and critters.  But he  seems to be getting further and further from me, rather than closer.  This is the second night he's spent out there somewhere,  and Im afraid one night he won't be back.

Wednesday, April 18, 2012

Comfort is a full pint of Rocky Road icecream

There are some colds that arrive gently,  giving you time to lay in a supply of easy reads,  a pint of something sinfully good and  extra soft have about three days to prepare the special fluffy pillows, warn folks that you'll be unavailable  for a week,  and you can lie back at last to wait it out.  Not because you are dreadfully ill, but because we all need a bit of pampering now and then.

And then there is  the kind that hurtles across the landscape like an over enthusiastic labrador retriever,  and within a hour of that first sneeze you have gone back to bed, afflicted with chills and fever and skin that hurts to the touch.  Your brain stops working,  there aren't enough hours in the day to sleep in,  and at certain key moments death seems desirable.    On the plus side,  after the first 24 hours,  you suddenly realize that you are no longer in agony,  the sun is shining,  and by golly,  there may be hope yet.

Monday, April 9, 2012


the critter not the vehicle

The animal who is supposed to be nocturnal, shy of humans, and woods-bound.  This morning there he was, crossing the driveway,  heading on down the road. 

my apologies for the strange streaks, those are bush branches between the bobcat and I.  In all my years of living around here I have heard one once and never seen any.  Now in the space of a month I've seen it twice,  going on about his business as if he owned the joint.  I cannot tell you how exciting stuff like this is

Tuesday, April 3, 2012

Change for the sake of change/rant

Adopted people have difficulty with changes; some of us can deal with Big Events, and yet the small ones lay us waste.   Some folks can handle personal changes (new hair style, different shopping mall) but go to pieces when they lose perceived control over something like a TV show they enjoy or a site online that they somehow feel and have been told is "theirs".  

Over the past year Google has been shifting the furniture around,  making it harder and harder to settle in.  Now they are taking all the draperies and rugs and revamping even the looks of the place.  Rumor has it the whole joint will have a new coat of paint soon.

Just about the time I get used to one way of working in here they change it again.  Mostly, I think,  because they can.  The options they give us are somewhere between few and none,  and anyone who has learned the hard way what "edit" means on a Google post or blog never touches that button again.  Google uses the term to mean "delete forEVER".  And they do.

And every change they make seems to slow the load time, the post time, even the typing time (I used to have an old Word Processing program on my 3.1 that I could outtype,  and this is now doing the same thing) has slowed to a crawl.

I got 3 years invested in this, and I would have no idea how to move it, if thats even possible.  I'm stuck. 

Sorry about the absence,  it's been a strange month, hard to settle into, I guess.  But the days get longer at each end,  the new guys are losing weight and looking more cat like and less beachball like, and its a joy to see them streaming across the yard, running  flat out just because They Can.  That somehow makes the breaking in time worth the patience.  It is, after all, about them.  Im just the doorholder.