Saturday, January 29, 2011


this is a recipe a friend of my mother-in-law's gave her.  Spelling has not been corrected.

1 Carnation Instant Breakfast
1 2t Milk, 1 Egg, spoonful cooked cerial
2 Tblsp Brandy
1/2 Banana or any fruit you like

Put in blender or beat vigorously until liquidified.
Drink one glass three times a day.
This is equivalent (in nourishment) to three meals.

Time flies like a banana

There is a lot to be said for getting older.  One of the things that I tend to view positively is the way time just hurtles by.  Some days it's tomorrow before I even know it's today.  Some days it's next week.  I plan on putting the rest of the christmas lights away, if I ever get a chance, but at the rate things are going, I may have to dust them and put them back in the windows before that. 

One other nice thing is,  no matter how awful January almost was,  boy did it go fast.  February is the next speeding bullet we have to dodge, and after that, March, the Month of Many Blizzards.  Damn,  we're almost into April already. Wasnt that easy?

Friday, January 28, 2011

Upscale Shopping Adventures

Went to a grocery store Ive rarely bothered with before. This one  has a specialty cheese and wine section, the herbs are now by themselves on a huge rack nearby, (SIX kinds of salt?  Oh, please) the visible milk case is heavy on soy milk and imported yogurt (some, Im sure, with bits of yurt added for authenticity), and gourmet/organic everything.  Upscale all the way. I felt like I should have dressed better.

I had to ask a clerk where the eggs, bread, and regular milk were. I also mentioned how hard it was to find what I wanted.  She laughed and said, "well, I think the designers wanted people to have a real Shopping Experience when they come here. They put that stuff out so you have to go past it, maybe try something new."  Really.  I told her I dont buy groceries to get a Shopping Experience, I buy grocieries to eat.

The regular food was way the hell at the other end of the store in a plain brown wrapper, so to speak, and the bread aisle wasn't even marked.  I think they were embarrassed to have to sell Wonder Bread at all. *g*
I like my aisles to make shopping sense.  Dairy has all the dairy stuff, the bread is all together in one aisle, and let's have the spices in the cooking aisle, please. Where you want them to be. 

Never did find the hand soap.

Thursday, January 27, 2011

cedar waxwing

There were a whole bunch of them in our old apple tree this afternnon;  they don't show up often,  but when they do they eat everything in sight.  really have to click on this to see him better...

Monday, January 24, 2011

Minnesota East

-20 this morning.  And we were in the warm spot.  Maine hit -35 in some spots, and I know Vermont was much colder too.  The good news is,  February is only one week away.  March is five weeks over the next hill.

And the even better news is, as you get older, time seems to move much more quickly,  and that includes winter.  It has been a wonderfully fast winter.  someone this morning said, if this kind of global warming keeps up we could die of frostbite and hypothermia...

Friday, January 21, 2011

Emily and the two Marks

in an effort to broaden my poetry horizons, i have begun delving into Emily Dickinson on more than a superficial level,  same with Mark Jarman and Mark Strand.  I read "The Continuous Life" by Strand, all the way through, and then went back and started reading more closely.  The more I read it, the more I see
why people call him a dark poet.  He does tend to drift off into fascinating  and occasionally disturbing 'what ifs' and while the writing itself seems at first fairly plain, the more you read the more it grabs at you.

 Emily is doing the same thing.  It isnt so much the individual poems but the body of work and your own speculations as to how much is metaphor and how much isnt.  Poets write about what they know, what they dream, what is familiar, in one way or the other.  From that premise, I'd say the only thing that kept  her sane was the poetry.  It seems to be almost dragged out of her, forcefully. 

I had mark jarman as an instructor several years back at a poetry festival in West Chester, PA. I wasnt all that impressed with him as such,  and his poetry at that time interested me only barely.  But in reading what I can find online, I wish I had read more of it then. 

And yes I have worked my way through Rilke.  I'm gainin' on him.

Since im not writing much right now and probably won't for a few more years, this seems a good time to absorb what's out there.  Whatever we read comes back later, changed, but there in some way.

weather report: mebbe a foot of snow, light and fluffy. More on the way

Thursday, January 20, 2011


its always nice to know you won't run out soon (although he has made a gallant effort here to lower the level)

Cuffy's new bed

the new bed, near the woodstove but not too near.  I dont know if the box just happens to be the shape of the cat or Cuffy manages to become right-angled to accomodate the corners.

Wednesday, January 12, 2011

Kinda pretty, innit.

Saturday, January 8, 2011

Lost chances

The trouble with being adopted within the family you were born into, is that if it's kept secret (as it was in my case) from the child but not the rest of the family,  there is a huge burden imposed on everyone to keep that secret from that child until he or she knows.  

In my mother's family this meant forever.  It also meant that I was subtly kept isolated from relatives  as I grew older,  including my birth mother, who I grew up believing was my aunt.  I was never encouraged to write to anyone, aunts, uncles,  cousins.  Mother was terrified, I think,  someone would slip. 

I had three remaining cousins, with whom I have over the years lost any contact with. Last night, out of curiosity, I opened up the SSDI site, and found my cousin Jimmy had been dead for seven years. His brother Jack died a year later. Where cousin Marie is I have no idea, since I never could remember her married name. And this morning I finally understood that those three people were what I leaned against, knowing  they were out there, somewhere. Missed opportunites, lost chances, all the way. I feel sadder right now about that than anything else.

Sunday, January 2, 2011

Barred owl looking backward .  He's been swooping around the yard lately, I suspect there's some damn good feeding out there right now.  The ground is cold and wet and muddy and if any fool mole or vole sticks its head up, there's mister owl, waiting   If this is our January thaw it's about three weeks early, but, then, we did have an early cold spell, too.  Split the difference, I'm cool with that...