Saturday, October 22, 2016

Even in fog, the trees glow (6WS)

rained all day yesterday, we had thunder storms all night long, and it poured--I'm in hopes that 1) we still have a driveway left, and 2) the small rivers will start to run again.    With luck, not down the middle of the driveway.  It has been known to happen. 

Friday, October 21, 2016

Charlie and the Rainy Day

He hates snow, mistrusts grass most of the time, refuses to walk in the fields because it hurts his feet and gravel is what you leap over to get to the nice soft dirt...and forget woods walks. Pine needles?  You joke, surely. 

And yet every morning before dawn he insists that now he has to go out. (house rule #1: if I can't see the trees as trees, it's too dark...)  Right now it's pouring out and every time I let him out he sits here on the porch and stares.  

After about fifteen minutes he's paws up and peering in the window,  little mouth open-and-close, open-and-close, 'oh my god it's WET out here. let me IN..." Understand, there is no sound there. He rarely makes noise any louder than a muted squeak, but the soundless cry is just as effective.

Sometimes I see him sitting like this, at the edge of the porch, soundlessly berating the sky, the grass, something, because it isn't performing properly. He has a cat door, but to get to it requires a walk through grass that may have been rained on. The entire three foot walk from the porch to the covered culvert pipe that leads to the cat door tunnel...

How he made it up our driveway in late November without a hat or boots or even good gloves, is beyond me. 

forgive the sinner not the sin

One cannot help the way one is,
especially if you don't know any other way.
If  you manage to commit great distress
on someone else, the fault is in the sin
if the sinner hasn't a clue. You are the way you are.
An explanation, but not an excuse.
Nor does it excuse the willful desire
to maintain that calm pool at all costs,
never learning that 'at all costs"
really negates the idea of the calm pool.
What's left is rubble and broken wire
and you staring at it, wondering,
even before you put down the hammer,
how it came undone in your hands.

Wednesday, October 19, 2016

Forgiving ain't all its cracked up to be

1. It takes time to let go of what hurt you, what became a life-changer for you but hardly touched the person responsible.  In order to do that, at least for me,  I need to understand the why of all of  it. Im like that.

2. It isn't enough to just say "I forgive you" and walk away.  Partly, I think, because when someone has pulled your own rug out from under you for their own reasons, they tend to see nothing wrong in what they did. Justify, justify. They feel better, and that's all that mattered.

3. The fact that the innocent victims have been laid waste by those actions would have surprised them.

4. You might say it's a lot like an arsonist setting fire to the house across the street, his reasoning being, it blocked his view of the sunrise. Never mind that he displaced an entire family, cost the town a bloody fortune to put the fire out, and sent two firemen to the hospital.  He could now see the sunrise.

5. It's a very selfish, narcissistic POV,  and a true narcissist has learned from birth how to justify almost anything (at least internally) by placing blame in all directions.

6. My mother gave it away inadvertently, one day, when she said "grampa always told me  my mouth would get  me in trouble." and she looked a bit puzzled by that, and rueful.

7. Obviously she had no idea what he meant.  Grampa was  a smart, observant dude.

8. I wish I'd known him.   I think he could see how she always manipulated  people, playing one against the other in a manic game of 'she said/he said" and then backing away while the two of them duked it out verbally.

9. and to be fair, it's been a good life.  Not easy, not simple, but fulfilling.  I feel like I've made a difference in ways that will matter for a few generations to come.

10.  But (and this is important) it was not my choice.  When you remove the possiblity of choice from someone's list of things to do, it's no longer their choice, is it. It's yours.

11. Terry Pratchett has a phrase to describe it, he calls it the pantlegs of Time. Once you start down one you can't change your mind and try out the other one.

12. All you can do is wonder at the kind of life you would have had if you had chosen differently.

13, And since my choosing will always impact someone else's choices, in an ever spreading  ripple, no matter which pantleg I picked, the ripples would have been (and are) eternal and endless.

Thursday 13

Sunday, October 16, 2016

Saturday, October 15, 2016

October humming along right on schedule (6WS)

(there were supposed to be five others but Blogger insisted they all had to be viewed sideways.  sigh.)

Friday, October 14, 2016

Caveat Emptor (or, if you prefer, Empty Cave)

Anyone who runs Microsoft--this afternoon I got what is called a 'cold call" from Microsoft, telling me I had a virus that was running amok in my computer system.  Sakes alive, I thought.  He said Microsoft had been trying to contact me for days.

o, really.

Indian man, gave me his name which was something like pujnabbi mumble mumble...I played along, not really sure about all this.  He wanted me to delete something in the 'cmd" file,  and I said why and he got very angry with me and started shouting.  I quietly hung up.

It turns out this is a very well known scam, and apparently you are supposed to report them to the consumer protection people.  

Microsoft states categorically that they never cold call anyone without letting you know it's going to happen. And since I run a virus scan daily and a deep scan once a week, Im not too concerned.

If you do get an unannounced call from anyone who says they are with MS hang up.  Whatever they want you to do, it's either going to cost money or eat your computer.

Monday, October 3, 2016

The winds blow heavy on the borderline

mebbe, mebbe not.  We do need the rain.  Not sure if it's worth losing our driveway, however.

(This is, btw, a really neat map.  It updates steadily, and gives you the entire country at a quick glance. )

Saturday, October 1, 2016

It Was a Very Good Year (6ws)

It Was A Very Good Year (Kingston Trio)  earworms 'r' us

Since last I mentioned this I have been hearing, humming, and singing this on a steady basis. Daily. Hourly. I found myself singing it at the top of my lungs on the way to town yesterday.  Not pretty.  If I knew how to whistle I'd be doing that, too.

I am desperate.  I may have to resort to Dock of the Bay or even something  from "Oklahoma":  "OhhhhhK-Lahoma where the winds blow heavy on the plains..."

Thursday, September 29, 2016

Cough Ough the Dough, Damn Ya (Thursday 13)














Saturday, September 24, 2016

Haiku For a Panic-Stricken Hour (6WS)

my password was lost,
locked out of my blog,  oh my
and now Im not. Why?

Wednesday, September 21, 2016

Worth the watch

A montage of video and still life photography, animals, nature,
ten years in the compiling. The music can only enhance this.

Richard Sidey photography

Sunday, September 18, 2016

Wednesday, September 14, 2016

Once more but with puppets this time (Thursday 13)

1. Kukla
2. Ollie
3. Rootie Kazootie
4. Kermit
5. Miss Piggy
6. Farfel
7. Howdy Doody
8. Mr. Bluster
9. Mr. Moose
10.  Bunny Rabbit
11.  White Fang
12.  Pokey (Gumby's horse)
13. Gumby

new thursday 13

Tuesday, September 13, 2016

One of the perks

Dubious though it might be,  one of the perks of being a Google/Chrome person, is that on your birthday when you open up Google on That Day, there is Google spelled out (very loosely, I might add) with birthday cakes and muffins, and I thought, oh, damn...
and sure enough, under it, it said Happy Birthday...

And of course the mister got me a nice card, the kind you have to hunt for, the kind he is willing to dig to find--not mushy, not goofy, but exactly right.  =)

Saturday, September 10, 2016

Thursday, September 8, 2016

That's all, folks! (Thursday 13)

Bugs Bunny
Br'er Bear
Rocket J. Squirrel
Deputy Dawg
Donald Duck
Road Runner
Wile E. Coyote
Mighty Mouse

Thusday 13

Monday, September 5, 2016

The magic of sleep

From the time I was very small until maybe twenty years ago I was a difficult sleeper.  Once I went under, I was pretty much unwakeable until morning, but it was the process, the getting there, that caused the problem.
That hamster wheel in the brain would spin and spin, and when I finally reached the perilous edge of sleep, mental fists clenched,  my husband would suddenly vault out of bed or decide that Now would be a good time to come to bed, and FLING the covers back, and by the time he had settled himself I'd be wide awake and staring all over again.
Words would be spoken. Ugly words.

And then one day I decided to rearrange the bedroom one more time.  There is a fireplace in the room (called the "four oclock fireplace" because in the days of open fireplaces and bitter winters someone would venture upstairs in late afternoon to see if the rooms were chilly enough to warrant a small fire until bed time--I've done the same thing, in years past) and if you could see  your breath, you started a fire.  By this time, however,  we no longer needed a fire in the bedroom, thanks to three stoves downstairs and better insulation,  so I moved the bed across the room, blocking the fireplace, and thought no  more of it.

That night I climbed into bed, turned once or twice, and next thing I knew I was looking at the sun rising in the east window, which was now directly across the room from us in the new view.  Whoa. What. Just. Happened. Here.

If you've ever had bouts of insomnia, you can appreciate that feeling.  It happened again the next night, and the next, and twenty years later it is still happening. I never get over it.  All I can figure is it's some kind of Chinese placement, called F'eng Shui,  that directs you on bed placement, door and window positions, all of that,  and from what I've read, it seems I may have found it myself without realizing.   And in all my years of sleep problems, as I recall, I had never before slept facing east windows. East walls, yes. but never east windows themselves.

The downside is,  I'm afraid to move the bed.

Sunday, September 4, 2016

Testing testing

this will show you how fast your computer downloads and uploads stuff,  which is sometimes comforting, sometimes not.

just for fun.  Select a city nearest to  you and hit the button.  the test starts automatically, download and upload.  It's kinda neat.

Saturday, September 3, 2016

This old house keeps gettin' older (6WS)

And so do  I...

This summer's project (which started last January with the Mouse invasion) went from a new ceiling in the kitchen (which didnt have one at all) to "let's finally finish the walls in the kitchen and paint it" and that  segued into new window casings, a twotone grey color scheme, and about 9/10ths of it is done.
Also discovered a talent for putty-and-paint which, while limited, is amazingly satisfying.  We takes what we can get, here.

While we were painting and putting stuff up, I had this nearly uncontrollable urge to begin speaking in a bright cheery voice the way the lady on This Old House does when she and her husband are redoing a room somewhere.  "Gosh, Jack" she chirps, loudly, sorta like a kindegarten teacher, "this blue paint is REALLY going to make a huge difference in this family room, you think?"  "Yes, Mary", he responds, "And I really like the way this  paint (Can label prominently displayed)  just glides on, no brush marks, no roller skips."  and they both laugh delightedly.
He never once sighs resignedly when she slips and the loaded paint brush whaps into the newly installed  sliding door window glass...she never pokes fun at him when he cuts the last piece of lumber too short (probably because he doesn't cut it at all)...I tried that voice just once and my husband looked at me for about two seconds, shook his head, and turned on the sander.

I dont intend to do this again so I might as well make a good job of it now.  =)  And this winter, golly, I get to make curtains.  =)  =)